~ and it becomes a problem,,, ~

well sometimes we dunno how to say "No" to others and hence it makes things worst. Or when you have something in mind and told to do otherwise, you did not voice out and reluctantly do what you do not want to do... all these accumulates to frustration and irritation...

why do i say that?

cause today(sunday) i heard my brother say out something he's been bottling up. He's tired but was asked to cut hair. He felt being used and has no time for himself to rest... well to us we thought it's for him to practice but to him, he's being used cause he's free... to us we thought it's the only time to ask him to cut since the rest of the days he's busy or not around but to him, he's been deprived of his own time and only time to rest.

come to think of it, sometimes what we think is not what others are thinking and many times we do not tell others what we are thinking instead... that caused unhappiness either to yourself or the other party.

after what he said today, i know at least what he's thinking and how he felt. at least next time i would not ask him to cut hair for me unless i know he's not tired or he asking for volunteer ba. haha. better let him rest. i advised him next time to try to say "No". well when saying "No" we might offend the other party but with relevant reason, if the other party is understanding then they will not blame you. we really cannot satisfy everyone and we need to think of ourselves. most importantly, we can't control what others want to think of us. what we did in our context might be right for the other person but if that's not what the other person is thinking, what we did is still wrong... but sometimes if the other person don't say, how do we know? do we assume? yes we do and sometimes we assume wrongly... communication is so important no matter what type of relationship you are dealing with. it's really one thing that we have to keep learning and one thing we can never fully understand or comprehend one my opinion cause in communicating, when we are dealing with people, there are 101 reactions to one thing that we do.

well i am quite happy to know that my brother is actually telling me how he's feeling. at least i know how he feels and can at least on my side do what i should do so that he will not be deprived of his only rest day (sunday).

~ take care and God bless ~